What do YOU want to Write?

"Becoming a writer" hasn't worked out like I expected.  Or rather, I should say that making a living as a writer hasn't worked out like I expected.

I have accepted a new job.  I feel that it combines the best bits and pieces from previous jobs I've had.  I also feel it matches my skills, interests, and abilities better than any other job I've had.  I'm really excited about it.

For one, I am excited to have a steady, stable stream of income again.  I knew when I took the leap and quit my last full-time job (back in May of 2011), that I may never have a steady income again.  I realized that working as a freelance writer would likely mean an up and down income stream.  I was fine with that.  The problem I faced was that it was more down than up.

But anyway, since I've accepted new employment, I've been able to relax.  I no longer feel the pressure to make a living through writing alone. Consequently, my writing voice and style is returning, little by little.

It is surfacing that I am most interested in writing fictional stories and doing proofreading/editing work.  Copywriting?  That's not so much my interest.

When I first started thinking that I wanted to "be a writer," the only type of writing I really knew was to write novels.  Plus, for as long as I can remember, I've wanted to write and publish a novel.  That was goal number one.  And I can proudly say I accomplished that.  Not just one novel, but four.

But when I saw that I wasn't making a great enough income via book sales of my fiction books, and I learned about copywriting, I thought that was the answer to my prayers.

Everything I learned and read about copywriting billed it as a way to work when you want, how much you want, and make an extravagant income.  Who wouldn't want that?  Unfortunately, it wasn't as easy as "they" made it sound.  At least it wasn't for me.

I also was surprised to find that the writing I did do for clients, I wasn't very interested in.

I love to write.  I assumed I would love to write - no matter what.  That I'd still love to write in other people's voices, selling other people's products/services, in a way that other people wanted.  That wasn't so for me.

I lost my passion for writing the further I went down the copywriting path.  Luckily, I've backtracked and chosen a new path.

My lesson is this:  There are multiple paths to "being a writer."

Fiction novels.  Non-fiction books.  Copywriting.  Proofreading.  Editing.  Blogging.

Which one(s) speak to your heart?

I believe the REAL key to success is following YOUR heart.

Just because someone else found success down one path, it's no guarantee you will too.

Since I've taken a few steps down my new path, I'm starting to feel my interest and joy in writing return.  Slowly but surely.  I see more fiction novels and short stories in my future.  I see blogging returning to a more consistent part of my life, like it once was.  I see proofreading and editing becoming a growing part of my life and provide a secondary source of bonus income.

I'm excited again for the future that lays ahead.  


               

Choking Your Dream

I have a tendency to jump into things.  With both feet.

I've rarely had issue taking the leap.

But sometimes I can dive head first into something new -- give it all my time, energy, and attention -- and lose the passion.  Lose the interest.

I choke it out.

I never thought that would happen with writing, but it did.

When I had a stable, full-time job that paid the bills, and I worked on my first novel on the side, all I wanted to do was write.

So I took the leap (it's what I'm good at), quit my job, and became a full-time writer.

Well, the pressure got to me.

It took a while -- thanks to my money-saving nature and ability to live off of the money I had.

But recently I've been feeling very stressed.

I see my savings running low.  I feel the pressure to bring in a greater income than I have thus far with my writing.

Nothing chokes a passion like pressure to make money at it.

I've been wondering lately if I'm not better suited working the traditional job, so I don't have to worry about an income, and writing what's in my heart during my free time.

I noticed when I made writing my business, it gradually changed from being something I loved to do, and enjoyed doing just for the sheer pleasure of it... to something I felt I had to do.

I no longer woke up excited to start the day.  In fact, lately I didn't really want to get out of bed.

Why would I?  I had nothing to look forward to.  Nothing to do.

I like feeling productive.  I like feeling like what I'm doing makes a difference and is needed.

I wasn't feeling like that with writing.  I hadn't reached a point of having a full list of clients who needed my services.  Had I reached that point, I may be feeling differently about now.

But it is what it is.

For days I didn't feel like writing.  At all.  Anything.

I had choked out my passion.

Then I decided to look for traditional employment again.  And a funny thing happened.  I felt excited again.  Happy.  Energized.

Yes, I've still had "down" times of not knowing how it's going to pan out.

But at this time, I'm seeking a full-time job and intend on returning to my writing "roots."

Fiction stories.  Perhaps non-fiction ebooks.  Maybe articles here and there.  Blog posts.

But seeking out clients, contacting them, trying to convince them they need me, and to pay me?  Nah.

I learned through experience (which is truly the best and only teacher) that that is not for me.

Can I, will I, still "make it" as a writer?  Time will tell.

All I know is I'm excited to make a change.  Excited to get into a job that I enjoy, where I can feel productive and excel at (and bring in a healthy, regular paycheck), and write what I want to write... not what I feel I have to write, or write the only things people ask me to write.

There are many ways to be a writer.  I'm shifting my focus.  And it feels good.